


The Wanting Comes in Waves

by IronPunk



Series: Above the Sea [1]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 21:25:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15916557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronPunk/pseuds/IronPunk
Summary: He almost makes it to his room before he bursts into tears. Again. He cries for a bit before he’s interrupted.“Uh,” he hears.“Oh no,” he says wetly.“I hate to ask this,” a familiar voice says cautiously. He looks up and yes. It's Carwood again. “But are you always like this?” If anyone else was asking it would sound judgemental but Carwood just sounds concerned.“Fucked up and sad, yes,” Lewis says. “Crying no. It’s been a rough two weeks, buddy. Being a sophomore sucks ”“Did you… fail that test?”“No,” Lewis replies. “Thanks to you I actually passed!”“Congratulations,” Carwood says. “But if it’s not the test then…”“Why the tears?” Lewis finishes for him. “I uh. I’m not sure you want to get dragged into this. It’s a feelings dating boys thing.”“Oh,” Lip says. “Sorry?”Takes place way before Down Into That Silent Sea but can be read on its own.





	The Wanting Comes in Waves

**Author's Note:**

> The representations of the men featured in Band of Brothers is based on characterizations in the show and not on the real men. No disrespect is intended.

It’s Lewis’ second year of college and he _should_ have his life on point. He very much does not.

It all starts to unwind in the middle of his first semester when his best friend kisses him in the middle of a study session.

“Um,” Lewis says dumbly. Where in the world did this come from?

“Is this okay?” Dick asks. He waits until Lewis nods before he kisses him again.

Dick doesn’t really say anything to clarify why he kissed Lewis but Lewis figures it’s a one-off thing. Which kind of sucks but at least this way they’ll still be friends.

The next thing that fucks up his game is his damned math class. He’s doing okay until the week before his midterm when his teacher drops a whole new set of problems that will make up half the fucking test. He doesn’t really understand them and he’s freaking out because he doesn’t want to fail. His parents expect him to fail and he has to prove them wrong.

He completely works himself up and bursts into stress tears as soon as he gets to Harry’s dorm.  
  
Which is how he first meets Carwood Lipton.

“Um,” the other man says. He sounds bewildered. Which. Fair enough.

“Where’s Harry?” Lewis asks wetly. He sounds more than a little hysterical.

The other man shrugs. “Are you okay?”

“I think I’m going to fail algebra and there’s a midterm and I don’t know what to do,” Lewis babbles, flapping his hands helplessly. He’s a god damned sophomore he should not be crying about a math class fuck his stupid degree.

“I really don’t think Harry is the best person to help you with math,” the man says calmly. “I’d go to the tutoring center if I were you.”

“They can help?”

“Yes,” he says. “I work there in the writing center. I have a shift soon if you want to come with me.”

Lewis gives one last embarrassing hiccup of tears as he nods his agreement. Why is he this person?

“Thank you…” Lewis trails off.

“Carwood. My family is a bit old-fashioned.”

“I'm Lewis and that is highly relatable. You have no idea.”

Carwood grins at him. “Well let me get ready and you can follow me over. I have to at least pretend to look like a professional.”

Lewis looks at Carwood and is startled to see he is just in his boxers. “Uh sorry? I didn't mean to catch a peepshow here.”

Carwood snorts and walks into his bedroom. “You were far too deep into crisis mode to ogle my hot dad bod.”

Lewis cackles a little bit. “Man, where has Harry been hiding you?”

“Harry's been over at his girl’s place so often I don't know if he remembers I moved in.” Carwood sounds kind of muffled. Soon after he steps out again in a ridiculous cardigan and khakis. It’s kind of hot though. _Dad bod my ass_ Lewis thinks.

“That sounds about right,” Lewis says. “I don't know why I thought he would be here to help me out.”

“Crisis mode,” Carwood states again. “I'm surprised they didn't find you out on the lawn. Wandering around like a man without a country.”

Lewis laughs.

“If you're ready?” Carwood asks.

“Yeah.”

Other than some small talk about classes they pretty much walk quietly down to the center.

Carwood checks in for work before he takes Lewis over to some desks and hands him over to the math tutors.

“Thanks again, Carwood.”

“No problem. Good luck!”

Lewis doesn't see much of anyone other than his roommate for the next few days. He texts Dick to let him know he'll be missing and meets him for a coffee one morning before class.

“I really thought I was going to fail that class,” Lewis says. “Well, I still may fail. We’ll see.”

“Your math class?” Dick asks. “You’ll be fine.”

“I would have been dead without the tutoring center.”

“That would have been sad,” Dick said. “I like you alive. I’m not into necrophilia.”

Lewis doesn’t know how to reply to that. Is Dick flirting or is he just trying to be funny?

“I like me alive too. Even though sometimes math makes me want to die.”

“Math is pretty terrible,” Dick agrees.

“How are your classes going?” Lewis asks.

“Better than yours apparently.”

“Ha ha,” Lewis says sarcastically. “Mock my pain I see how it is.”

“Things are going well,” Dick answers. “Better this year than they were last year.”

He looks up and meets Lewis’s eyes, but Lewis doesn’t know how to interpret that.

Soon they both have to leave for class, but he can’t get the conversation out of his head for the rest of the day.

It takes a few days at the tutoring center but he feels like he is ready for his midterm by the end of the week. Thank the academic Gods for Carwood and the tutoring center. He doesn’t think he would have done half as good without them.

Fortunately or unfortunately depending on the perspective the whole math debacle is way more easily solved than the whole Dick Winters situation.

After Lewis finds out his math grade, Dick ends up coming over to celebrate which ends up with them sleeping together. Dick never says anything about it or talks about feelings so Lewis thinks he wants friends with benefits.

Which is unfortunate as fuck because it was hot and Lewis really doesn’t think he can handle the whole FWB thing. Especially not with someone he likes so much. Dick’s kind of wonderful so it’s not really surprising he wouldn’t want Lewis the way Lewis wants him. He should put a stop to it but, well, he doesn’t really think he deserves more from Dick. Or anyone really.

  
  
~~~

Dick and Harry, or Harry Dick as Harry often calls them, are walking over to Dick’s place to do video games and get something trashy for dinner.

Dick has been trying, and failing, to tell Harry about his situation with Lewis. What comes out is a half-assed love confession.

“So uh,” Dick says. “I’m falling in love with him.”

“Oh boy,” Harry says. “I’ve been waiting for this.”

“Not helpful!” Dick hisses.

“OK but you’ve kind of been into him since you first met him,” Harry argues. “ _I met the smartest dreamiest boy, Harry. He’s so amazing and we’re best friends blah blah_.”

“I dislike you a lot,” Dick grumbles.

“Sure,” Harry agrees.“Have you told him?”

“No,” Dick says. “We haven’t talked about it.”

“So… you’ve been doing the do but not talking?” Harry says exasperatedly. “That is not going to end well.”

“What do you think I should do?”

“Well, first of all, you need to TELL HIM you are dating,” Harry says. “Then you need to actually date him.”

“So a date,” Dick repeats.

“After you tell him,” Harry emphasizes. “You have to say ‘I have feelings for you’.”

“Jeez fine I’ll tell him,” Dick lies. He’ll tell him at some point but maybe it would be better to get Lewis used to them dating first.

 _Do you want to go out for pizza?_ Dick texts Lewis.

 _Sure_ Lewis texts. _When?_

 _Tonight? 5?_ Dick texts.

_Sure. Meet you there?_

_I’ll come get you_. Dick answers.

Dick shows up at 4:50 to pick him up. He’s kind of nervous because he wants Lewis to have a good time and also maybe realize he wants to go on dates and fall in love with Winters.

The date starts off pretty great. They are sitting next to each other in their usual booth, talking and having fun. Or at least Dick thinks they are. He’s been kind of second-guessing himself a lot since talking to Harry.

Dick reaches over to put his hand on Lew’s but Lew keeps moving around. He’s usually a pretty steady guy, at least physically, so something must be wrong for him to fidget this much.

“Everything ok?” Dick asks.

“Yeah,” Lewis answers. “Just having a weird week I guess.”

“Even for you?” Dick asks. “That must be pretty weird then.”

“Ha ha.” Lew swats at Dick, who just leans back to avoid getting hit. “I’ll show you weird!”

“Oh?” Dick asks. He hope he’s been flirty. “How will you do that?”

“Shit,” Lewis says suddenly. He looks fairly panicked and Dick gets worried.

“What’s wrong?” Dick asks.

“I forgot I have another math quiz,” Lewis explains. “I have to get to the student center before it closes. Fuck. Can we reschedule our hang out?”

“Sure,” Dick says. He is pretty disappointed but it’s not like Lew knew this was a date, right?

“Thank you,” Lewis says, getting up from the table. “You’re the best.”

~~~

Lewis is walking back to his dorm from the library when he sees Harry and Dick walking a bit ahead. He’s going to catch up to say hello, but hears something he shouldn’t.

“I’m falling in love with him, Harry,” Dick says. It’s his I mean business voice. Oh shit. Dick’s in love with someone. He’s never talked to Lewis about feelings so he must be… talking about someone else. Shit.

He turns and walks away to duck behind a building to catch his breath and get some space between them. He wishes he would have heard this before they slept together. Kisses were one thing but this was just messed up. He thought Dick was kinder than this.

What is he going to do?

He walks the rest of the way back in a fugue state. He _almost_ makes it to his room before he bursts into tears. _Again._ He cries for a bit before he’s interrupted.

“Uh,” he hears.

“Oh no,” he says wetly.

“I hate to ask this,” a familiar voice says cautiously. He looks up and yes. It's Carwood again. “But are you always like this?” If anyone else was asking it would sound judgemental but Carwood just sounds concerned.

“Fucked up and sad, yes,” Lewis says. “Crying no. It’s been a rough two weeks, buddy. Being a sophomore sucks ”

“Did you… fail that test?”

“No,” Lewis replies. “Thanks to you I actually passed!”

“Congratulations,” Carwood says. “But if it’s not the test then…”

“Why the tears?” Lewis finishes for him. “I uh. I’m not sure you want to get dragged into this. It’s a feelings dating boys thing.”

“Oh,” Lip says. “Sorry?”

“Same,” Lewis says dryly. “I am truly sorry to have feelings right now. I would like to return them to the library please.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing,” Lip says suspiciously.

“Nope,” Lewis agrees. “However, I do have other, dubious, means to try to get rid of them.” He pantomimes drinking out of a bottle.

“Are you even old enough to drink?” Lip asks hesitantly. Like he wants to know but mostly does not even remotely want to know all at once.

“In Canada,” Lewis states proudly.

“This is... not Canada,” Lip says cautiously.

“Nope,” Lewis agrees cheerfully.

“Well, I better come with you to make sure you don’t die,” Lip says, resigned.

Lewis looks at him suspiciously. “You’re not going to report me?”

“Nope.”

“Or throw it away?”

“Nope.”

“Ok. You can follow me.” Lewis unlocks his door and leads Carwood inside, closing the door behind them.  

“Wait here,” Lewis says when they are in the living room. “I can’t show you my secret stash.”

“Under your bed isn’t a secret,” Carwood argues.

Lewis huffs. “Just let me pretend to have secrets, ok?”

“Sure!”

Lewis comes back with a six pack and a bottle of Vat 69.

“The six-pack is yours if you want it,” he announces.

“Gee thanks,” Carwood says. “You’re not going to finish that bottle.”

“I could,” Nixon protests. “But nah. It’s a school night.”

Carwood looks at him suspiciously but sits on the couch anyway so he can’t be _too_ worried.

Lewis is three drinks in when he announces, “I feel like a deflated balloon.”

“I can’t tell if this is too much information or not,” Carwood says. He sounds half confused half nonchalant. Or maybe just a little buzzed.

“Well, take it or leave it,” Lewis says. “I don’t think I get any less confusing, to be honest.”

“Fair enough. So you’re a deflated balloon? How are you going to fix that?”

“I’m going to… uh,” Lewis starts. “Not fail math and make new friends.”

“You already did that,” Carwood laughs, pointing to himself. “What’s step two? Don’t say alcohol.”

“Ok next is talking to my best friend!” Lewis says. “And trying to avoid feelings.”

“Let me know if you figure that one out because I’d also like to avoid feelings. That way I won’t punch anyone at the tutoring center.”

“You have feelings too?” Lewis asks sadly. “Shit.”

“I don’t uh like anyone like you do but I also have to deal with a lot of angry dumb people.”

“Eugh.”

“And now you know why I don’t mind drinking with you. I’m tired of being the responsible one.”

“You’re still the responsible one,” Lewis argues. “I’m a hot mess.”

“Yeah but now I’m buzzed so I don’t care. And you aren’t dumb so that helps.”

“Some people would disagree with you.”

“Well, some people can get wrecked.”

“Here here.” Lewis holds up his glass and Carwood clinks his glass to cheers.

They part ways shortly after that, but Lewis sees a glass of water and ibuprofen out on the counter. _Not responsible my ass_ , Lewis thinks. He chugs the water, takes the pills and falls into bed feeling lighter than he did earlier.

~~~

  
Lewis doesn't really feel okay again until he sees Webster. They've been running in the same pretentious circles since they were in diapers because their parents were rich and absent AF.

“I think you should talk to _him_ about this,” Web says hesitantly.

“Eventually,” Lewis assures him. “I just need an outside perspective before I make a total ass of myself and lose my friend.”

“Okay but I don't really date. I'm not sure how useful I'll be,” Web argues.  

“Web,” Lewis says slowly. “I need to vent to my friend about how I don't want feelings but have them. I don't know what to do about the guy fucking me.”

Web looks up at him with a look of not quite comforting not quite pissy. He kind of looks like an owl to be honest. “Ok shoot.”

Lewis shakes his head. “So he kissed me then didn’t say anything.”

“Okay,” Web says.

“Then there was more kissing and not saying anything. Then we slept together and still he didn’t say anything to explain what was going on.”

“Um.”

“The problem,” Lewis says. “Is that I overheard him telling Harry he was falling for someone but he hasn’t said anything to me about feelings so I think he’s in love with someone else.”

Webster’s knuckles get whiter and whiter as Lewis explains and he realizes it’s because Web is trying not to call him an idiot.

“I should talk to him,” Lewis admits.

“You really should,” Web agrees gratefully.  “Please talk to him.”

~~~

Dick doesn't really know what to do. He's never dated someone like Lew before and up until now, it's been interesting even though it's been a bit difficult.

He knows they haven't really been a thing for long but he doesn't really feel comfortable seeing Lew run around with other guys. He thought they were building something but maybe Lew just wanted to mess around.

He’s really unsure of the situation, especially after that weird date. He can’t really focus on anything right now so he only makes it half an hour into his study session with Harry when he breaks.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Dick sighs.

“Do what?” Harry asks absently. He’s got a pencil tucked behind each ear and one in his hand.

“The whole Lewis thing,” he explains.

“I thought you were falling for him?”

“I am.”

“So what changed?”

“I keep seeing him around with other guys,” Dick admits. “I’ve seen him with two other guys this week.”

“Like with with?” Harry asks while making a sort of rude, mostly confusing gesture.

“Uh no.”

“Then how do you know he was running around with them?”

“He was sitting really close to one guy, and I saw him go into his apartment with the other.”

Harry pointedly looks at where their arms are touching as they lean over the table, sharing a book. Then he looks around the apartment. “You mean like we’re doing now? Do I need to tell Kitty we’ve been secretly seeing each other?”

Dick sighs. Harry means well but he just kind of doesn’t _get_ a lot of things. Before Dick can explain his point of view further he hears Harry’s roommate come over.

“Um,” the guy starts. “Sorry to interrupt but I think I may have an insight into what's going on.”

Both Harry and Dick look at him like he's insane.

“You haven't even met Lewis yet, Carwood,” Harry argues.

“Yes, I have,” Carwood says at the same time Dick angrily says “Yes he has.”

“What the hell did I miss?” Harry wonders out loud. He hasn’t been around much so pretty much everything.

“This is the guy I saw going into Lew’s apartment,” Dick says unhappily.

“He was going to get really drunk and I wanted to make sure he didn’t die,” Carwood replies.

“Why was he getting drunk on a Tuesday?” Dick argues. It’s a pretty stupid argument because Lewis will drink when he feels like it regardless of class or time or day or pretty much any logical reason not to. Dick was just kind of being petty because he was hurt.

“He thought some guy was in love with someone else. I'm assuming he meant you,” Carwood clarifies.

“Why would he think I'm in love with anyone but him?” Dick asks incredulously.

“Because you didn't tell him you were dating?” Carwood asks hesitantly. “I haven’t known Lewis long but I don’t think he would have been that upset if you had talked to him about it? The, uh, angst seems to be rooted in not knowing?”

Carwood can see the exact moment when Dick was about to curse but shot it down internally. He was impressed.

“Sh...oot,” Dick finishes lamely. “You're right.”

“You’re like an angry grandpa kitten,” Harry rolls his eyes. “And I fucking told you to talk to him. Lewis doesn’t deal in subtleties.”

“I’m dating an idiot,” Dick breathes.

“So’s Nix,” Harry snorts. “You know he gets a bit idiotic about feelings so I don’t know why you didn’t talk to him _before_ you tried to get into his pants.”

“You’re right,” Dick says. He can’t even blame Lew for this. The only thing that changed was adding sex so of course he wouldn’t know.

“Of course I’m right,” Harry crows. “Hello!”  
  
He had to fix this and fast.

~~~

Lewis is pretty much moping on his bed when he hears knocking on his door. He gets up and looks in the peephole and it’s Dick.  

He doesn’t really want to see him right now because he wants to avoid getting even more confused but there’s more knocking on his door.

“I know you’re in there,” he hears Dick say.  
  
_Fuckity fuck_ Lewis thinks. _Who the fuck just shows up at someone’s place of residence?_

Lewis pissily opens the door, ready to give Dick a piece of his mind.

“So I have feelings for you,” Dick says once the door opens.

“Uh,” Lewis says stupidly. “What?”

“The kissing and the… other stuff,” Dick explains. “Were because I have feelings for you and want to date you.”

“Um. Really?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you…”

“I thought you knew!” Dick says.

“How would I know if you didn’t tell me!?” Lewis asks.

“I don’t know,” Dick says. “I thought you’d pick up on the big hints I was dropping.”

“We should take this inside,” Lewis interrupts. Mostly because Harry and Carwood are in their doorway eavesdropping and Harry is fist pumping obnoxiously.

He takes Dick’s hand and leads him inside. As he’s closing the door he sees Carwood give a thumbs up. He nods his thanks and goes inside.

“So I guess it was me you were talking about with Harry,” Lewis says. He’s looking down, still kind of too embarrassed to meet Dick’s eyes.

“You heard that?” Dick asks. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Lewis shrugs. “I thought you were talking about someone else.”

He feels a hand pressed to his face, tilting his head up. “Lew.”

Lewis looks up. “I uh. I feel the same way about you.”

Dick’s face lights up. “Oh?”

“Yeah oh,” Lewis says.

Dick doesn’t say anything else, but Lewis caves first. He impulsively reaches up, grabs Dick’s face and plants a kiss on him.


End file.
